What is a Friend?

Every time I visit my sister's house I make a point to use her master bathroom instead of the main bathroom, which is the first choice of most guests. The funny thing is that my sister, her husband, and all three of her children know I prefer this bathroom. I don't choose to go in here because of the wall color, the square footage, or the running magazines. This master bathroom contains one far more important item that draws me to it.

On the wall there is a small frame with a quote. This article was given to my sister from her husband and words within this frame sum up the love the two share in one simple sentence.

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live a day without you." - A. A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

When I think of Winnie-the-Pooh I think of the many lessons my children learned about friendship and love from the honey loving bear. This bear managed to teach some of the important lessons everyone should know about finding a true friend and being a true friend. Some of these simple lessons come to mind as I stop and think about some of my closest friends and just how special the friendship we share means to me.

In less than thirty-seven hours my best friend is heading out for a journey that I simply cannot understand. Although I was raised in a Christian home and attended church every week, I never really learned about the life of a family serving God in other areas. It wasn't until I agreed to care for a little girl while her parents went to work and school each day that I began to learn about the life of a servant from a family who lived this life. I could never imagine that that signed daycare agreement was the start of an amazing Winnie-the-Pooh friendship.

Choosing to have a best friend who lives the life of true service with her husband and children is not like have a best friend who works at a local bank. Our friendship takes long distance relationships to a whole new level. I have learned that this distance just makes the times we do have together more important. I have also come to realize that whether this distance is a few months or even a few years, as this one is, we manage to pick up right where we left off.

The laughter, tears, milestones, love, loss, and memories we have shared over these last eight years have been unforgettable. Although I am no more prepared for her to leave this time than I was the first time, I am proud of her for her choices. I am thankful God gave her a willing heart to serve Him and share His gospel.

My dear friend Chelsie, 
I pray for your safety and health. I pray for your family on this journey with you. I pray for your strength. I pray for your ability to laugh. I pray for your memories of us laughing to remain fresh on tough days over the next two years. I pray for opportunities to talk with you in some form until I can hug you again.
I love you my friend!

"We'll be friends forever, won't we, Pooh?' asked Piglet. Even longer,' Pooh answered" - A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Seeing a Father's Love Through My Camera Lens

If you have attended a Kirksville Tigers Football game or any event my boys have been a part of, you have seen me. I am that crazy lady almost on the actual football field no matter how cold with that huge camera lens. Many people have no clue of my name or even which child is mine, but if someone explains me as the lady with the camera...usually everyone knows me.

One advantage I have to being that "camera lady" is seeing the action, love, laughter, and special moments in ways that others are unable to see from the naked eye view. I could spend hours sifting through photos on my camera, computer, or those that I have printed. There is never a time that a smile doesn't appear on my face from reliving the moments that I captured that special shot.

Of all the photos I have taken over the years, my favorites have been those watching a father's love grow as his children grow. This journey began sixteen years ago with the birth of his first son and continues today. Although he was a young father of only twenty-two when that little boy entered the world, he worked full-time and was still willing to pace countless hours attempting to quiet that crying baby. His love for that little boy never faltered through the screaming, teething, terrible two's and three's, finger painting on the walls, running into the garage door with the riding lawn mower, or the many other challenges over the years. This love was only increased when a second son was added to the dynamics a short two and a half years later.

I have had the privilege to have a front row seat in watching the love of a father and his sons change and mature as both the father and sons have also changed and matured. The added bonus is that I am not only the photographer, but the wife and mother.

Studies show that women tend to marry someone with similar characteristics to their fathers. If that is a true fact, then my husband had some huge shoes to fill. However, as I have watched my husband grow as a husband and a father I know that he is filling those shoes remarkably well. I can only hope that I have many more opportunities to view his love and growth through my camera lens before those boys venture away from home to start a similar story of love.

                                                  David playing with Colin as a little boy.

               One of my favorite pictures of David congratulating Domenic after a good football game.

                                              My boys making memories with their Dad!

                                          David enjoying the ocean and the sand with his boys.

Some days it seems like a Lifetime, but other days it was yesterday...

January 9, 2001- One of those days in my life that no matter how much I would like to pretend it didn't happen, the truth is it did. The truth is that on that day thirteen years ago my life changed in a way that I was not prepared for, a way that would forever make me a different person...a girl without her mother.

I am just one of six that felt that same sense of loneliness and pure loss that day thirteen years ago. Each of us were attempting to handle this loss in our own way, while at the same time trying our best to be strong for our own children and mostly for the man who just lost his wife of forty-five years, our Dad. This day had come after a seven year battle with cancer, a variety of surgeries, chemo treatments, radiation treatments, partial paralysis, Hospice services, and day to day trials and side effects of the cancer.

Throughout this journey good things happened too. We were a family starting forty-five years ago, but the "C" word made us a family in a whole new sense. This whole new sense of family evolved as we stood in the chapel holding hands and praying for God not to take our Mother away when she was first diagnosed with cancer, each time we all took turns spending the day caring for Mom in order for Dad to work, the holidays we spent together making memories and watching Mom smile, cherishing each moment Mom was able to spend with the grandchildren, and the way we held hands around Mom's hospital bed and sang hymns as she entered into Heaven and left behind the sickness and pain.

January 9, 2014 - Thirteen years have passed since I lost the one woman I called Mom. What have I learned from the loss of my Mom after having thirteen years to think about it? What do I want others to know about my Mom? What do I want this day to be about?

I truly understand how the words "I'm sorry" do not help ease the pain of losing a parent, but those who say it are making a valiant effort to help in some small way. I have learned that people will tell you time heals all pain or that things will get better with time. These statements are not accurate. After a loss this significant, I have learned to live my life without my Mom. The pain is not healed and things have not gotten better over time. I have grown and adapted better over time to my new life, a life without a Mom. In addition, these thirteen years have helped me realize that I was so very lucky to have twenty-one years with my Mom, the opportunity to share the birth of both of my children with her, a childhood with a mother who always put her children first, and a guardian angel watching over me each day.

I feel so very blessed to have had a mother that was loving, hard working, a Christian, dedicated to her family, a true fighter, a beautiful wife and mother, a good listener, and the one that God chose for me. These are the qualities I want to remember, others to remember, and most of all my children to know about her. Each January I dread this day. I know that it will be hard and that I will send text messages to my siblings, cry at some point, want to curl up in my bed and forget it all happened, and pray. Although I do the majority of those things each year, I also make a point to talk to my children on this day. I tell my boys some of the amazing memories I have of their grandma, the fact that she loved both of them so much, and we make the annual meal of Mom's meatloaf, homemade macaroni and cheese, corn, and mashed potatoes.

Thirteen years later and I am surviving without my Mom. I am not taking the moments I have with my children for granted. I have come to realize that God is here for me and will help me through anything. I have realized that I am strong and part of that is thanks to the strength I gained from my Mom.

I miss and love you everyday Mom and will never forget you or let others forget you.

                                                        Virginia Maxine Sedgwick Oden

One Piece at a Time - Month One

Have you ever felt like a time had come for some change? After seventeen years of marriage and two kids nearing the last few years living at home, I told my husband that I really wanted to start focusing on spending more money on household items. Although he didn't really see the reason in my desires, he sure hasn't complained about the purchases I have made thus far. We have both discussed how we hope to have dinner parties and even small groups of people over once the boys have moved out. I have often discussed that the Cool Whip containers may not function very well as cracker holders and mismatched silverware isn't something I want to put out for our guests. 

During the years with little kids the extra money always seemed to go on items for them. With these same little kids it really didn't seem like a good plan to have expensive furniture, because hours of jumping and rough housing would end up with worn out furniture. Although I consider us very lucky to have the few nice pieces of furniture we do have, when my oldest son graduates in May 2015 I really want to be proud of our house and the items in it for the big party!

One of the best parts about this plan is the hours I get to spend searching for good deals to find perfect items! I have convinced my husband that I will purchase one or two things each month to build our collection of nice household items. I started in December and was able to find some really good deals with all the Christmas specials running. I didn't buy huge items, but to me they were perfect additions to our home! I'm hoping that I will find some big ticket items at great prices and I will plan to share the sites I find some great products on to pass on the amazing deals!

Here are my first two purchases:

                    Meat and cheese tray with slide out storage for spreaders from One Kings Lane
www.onekingslane.com has a huge variety of items on their website! I have a HUGE wish list!!! They have some great specials that are worth checking out!

                                       Personalized Bamboo cutting board from Pick Your Plum
www.pickyourplum.com has daily deals and simply amazing products! You also get a free Laffy Taffy with every order! Who doesn't enjoy that?

Blogging Take One

Well, I have always enjoyed reading blogs and felt that it would be such a great achievement to have my own blog. However, I have never actually taken the plunge...until now! I admit, I am a little nervous about this new journey. I am also very excited! I really enjoying telling stories and I feel that I will have that opportunity in my blog. Hopefully, I will find out along the way people who actually want to read my stories. 

At this point I am still very new to the whole process and am going to look at this as a new challenge for 2014. I hope that after I get the hang of things I might actually have a respected blog with loyal followers that aren't my husband and family members. I have lots of plans to showcase my family, our home remodel, my challenges as a mom, helpful tips, and lots of other great things on my blog. 

Please, be patient with me as I embark on this new venture and stick along for the ride that I hope to be successful!